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you don't give a shit about me, do you?

you don't care that i could have died that night.

that anything could of happened to me

but you just left me practically all on my own.

i was a state

you can't have thought i'd be able to look after myself.

i was in no condition to be given any kind of responsibility

let alone the responsibility

of finding my way home on my own.

i don't remember anything.

you could be taking advantage of that fact.

you took advantage of me

and the state i was in

you... i don't know the words to describe you

i feel sick just to think about it.

i hate you, i think.

i now realise that all of you

bar one, don't give a fuck about me

you just care about yourself

and saving yourself from getting into trouble

i don't think you even thought twice about me

you just walked away

left me lying there.

you're selfish.

i'm glad i have my real friends

the loyal ones who wouldn't have left me

they would have been there

they would have done the right thing

and called someone

like i'm glad that one person did

and now you have the nerve to call her a stupid bitch

for the fact that she called my mum? 

it all just boils back down to the fact 

that you're selfish and you only care about yourselves.

you wouldn't have cared what happened to me

as long as you were safe and sound and came across as the innocent ones.

you made up a lie.

a twisted, unbelievably tabgled web of, basically,

bull shit. just so you seemed the good guys,

so you were in the clear. i was the one who the blame should fall on

it was all my fault. you couldn't stop me.

but that's the thing that hurts the most.

you could have stopped me.

you could of, if you had cared, stopped me from doing

the stupid and just plain wrong things you tell me about doing

you're laughing at me, the next day, you're telling me what i did

and you're laughing

and i'm thinking,

what if it had been you? would you want this?

wouldn't you expect your so called friends to stop you

when you're about to do something so horrible

and so out of charector for me.

i'm upset just thinking about it.

and you.

i don't know what to say about you,

other than i think you're pathetic.

you were so wrong

and so out of order it's unreal.

you were taking advantage,

no matter what you say. 

you cannot say that i was in the condition to be able to consent

to anything.

i was on the floor. i couldn't move.

you were fine to walk away from me

and act sober when anyone asked.

you cannot say that this is in the least bit fair

on me. on my mother.

on my real friends.

they were so worried and it chokes me up just to think about

what they all must have been going through

when i was gone.

i was so stupid.

yeah i'm angry at you.

i'm angry at the rest for leaving me.

i'm angry at everyone there, except one,

who banded together and lied and made up a story

so you wouldn't get in trouble

not caring what happened to me.

but most of all i'm angry at myself

for letting me do that to myself.

i always told myself i'd never be that stupid.

i'd never put myself into a situation like that

but i did

and it makes me feel sick.